


not to forget

by eastern_wind



Series: of gold and rust, of diamonds and dust [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Blood and Gore, Clan Politics, Diary/Journal, F/F, F/M, Gen, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, Mental Health Issues, Second Shinobi War, T&I, Third Shinobi War, fake it until you make it, kunoichi - Freeform, questionable life choices, third hokage bashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2019-10-31 13:58:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 27
Words: 6,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17850815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eastern_wind/pseuds/eastern_wind
Summary: The diary of Nanagusa Teri, a chūnin of Konoha T&I Department, through war and peace times.A companion piece to the main story of the series,hit the ground running





	1. graduation

_July 10th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

I did it! I got my hitaiate today! Dad’s going to be so proud when he returns from the mission, I can’t wait to tell him! I wonder who’s gonna be my teammates? Maybe Yoshino-san? She’s really nice and laid back. Or Tanbō-kun…

Oh, great-grandpa Uben and mom are home! Gotta tell them!

* * *

Well, mom isn’t happy about me becoming genin but she at least hides it well. Great-grandma Enen wasn't that nice when she saw my new headband. She can grumble all she wants, I don’t really care. What’s wrong with me being a shinobi? I want to protect the village too just like dad does! He promised to teach me something cool when I’m a ninja. I really hope he returns soon.


	2. lucky numbers

_July 11th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

  
Team Thirteen… I love it! That’s my favorite number besides seven and I get to train with Tanbō-kun! He brought lunch to the first meeting today and, Black Grasses almighty, it was amazing! Akimichi are really the best (except for dad, he’s totally the coolest!). Maru is okay too. He can be weird sometimes, but I guess as long as noone says anything about his family we should be fine. I don’t get why he insists on picking on Ōren-kun all the time though. It’s not like having red hair is a crime.

Anyway, Masayume Hiko-sensei is just… wow. I mean she looks like a civilian - no jōnin vest, no standard uniform or flashy clan things, even her hitaiate is mostly hidden by the sash she wears over her belly - like she's just a very pregnant civilian. But the way she can make people cower in fear…

Hiko-sensei is a part of a tactical analysis team until her child is born so we are too now, and when he or she (I've no idea when it's going to happen yet) get there, Team Thirteen will begin field work. Until then we have time to adjust and grow together as a team and other teams… they just don't. The war takes more and more Leaf shinobi away - most of our class will either get stationed at the outposts with their sensei or join combat forces after two weeks of intensive training. We, on the other hand, have our first D-rank tomorrow.

Naki-baka says we got a sensei who can't go in the field because we're “a whiny fatso, a psycho and a bookworm”, but she's just an idiot! Tanbō-kun's clan techniques require huge amounts of energy, he has to have body mass higher than the rest of the class. I've read about it in the “Land of Fire Warrior Clans”. Maru needs anger management, I admit that, but he can act like an adult when Ōren-kun isn't involved. And I _am_ a bookworm, yes, Naki. How quickly you've forgotten all those times you used it for your own advantage! Well, I won't be there next time you decide yew berries are safe to eat. Good luck with your field missions!

Ugh, she makes me so angry! Maybe I should go ask Tanbō-kun and Maru if they're up for target practice? I could blow off some steam.


	3. not a monkey

_July 12th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

I saw Hokage-sama today! I even got to talk to him and he gave us a mission! Not that the mission itself was anything fun, but I get it, someone has to take care of training grounds. Today it was us.

Hiko-sensei showed us chakra-walking so we could reach kunai and shuriken that got stuck high up in the trees and pull ‘em out of the bark. Tanbō-kun has a very impressive chakra control, Hiko-sensei said. He even managed to climb that big Hashirama tree at the border of Training Ground Five and Seven! Maru still needs to use both hands and feet to hang on and I…

Good thing I've been wearing the mesh shirt Renji-jii gave me as a present yesterday - the broken branch only left a small scab on my chest. If not for the shirt it would go directly through the bandages and in between fourth and fifth rib when I slammed into the trunk. That's why I don’t like heights, there's no control.

Great-grandpa will probably be unhappy if I don't have fūton but I’d rather not. He has uncle Datō to carry family legacy. I hope for doton because it would mean I can learn dad's techniques and to hell what Naki-baka and her stupid friends say! Even if my dad's family comes from the Land of Grass, we're loyal to Konoha. It's our home.

Hiko-sensei says learning chakra walking can take some time but I don't want to drag my team back. I'm going to practice at home until I finally get it! If Renji-jii learned how to get around the house and even go to the Academy and back using his hands only, I can do some flimsy chakra walking!


	4. that that's bad

_July 13th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

Another day, another mission. Spent almost ten hours packing ration bars and non-essential mission gear for a new dispatch today.

Grapevine says Land of That is trying to bite off a piece of the Land of Dusk and all outposts in the neighboring quadrants are on code Red. I wonder why Hanzō let them try, Ame has more than enough manpower to level the Land of That, don't they?

No progress with chakra walking so far.

 


	5. a mocking bird

_July 14th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

Hiko-sensei took us to Aviary today. I smell like bird poo, Maru got it in his hair and Tanbō-kun apparently is a Snow White because every hawk that came in went straight for him and even let him pet its feathers. I blame cookie crumbs.

Turns out Yoshino’s team got a mission there too. Her teammates are Yamanaka sisters Moriko-chan and Guren-chan - they graduated early like me - and their sensei is Sosora-san from Aburame clan. Oh girl, she’s _weird_. Not Aburame-weird (I have nothing against bugs), but… She kept twitching at every loud noise and seemed very unhappy with Maru for some reason, everyone could see it. The gloom was like a cloud around her.

Then she said she knew Maru’s parents and it’s a loss they had died and everything was kind of a blur from there. I suppose she thought she meant well but Maru definitely took it differently. I doubt a meltdown that followed was any good for Hiko-sensei’s blood pressure and neither I nor Tanbō-kun wanted her to go into premature labor or something so we sort of knocked Maru out before he outright attacked Sosora-san. We didn’t really want a citation for a case of violence against a superior even though anger management seminar could actually come in handy right now. Sosora-san seemed not to take Maru’s words to heart though, just apologized again and left Team Four to finish their D-rank without her. What a weird woman...

Thankfully Hiko-sensei was fine so we all had a moment to chat during lunch while Maru was still out. She told us it’s a family matter and we shouldn’t ask him about it unless he wanted to talk (not like I was going to and Tanbō-kun is way too polite to be nosy). It’s just… Whatever has happened, Maru clearly needs help and adults either shrug it off or act like it will go away if everyone ignores the problem. But it never works! It didn’t for Kusagi-kun…

I want to help Maru and Tanbō-kun does too, I’m sure. If adults can do nothing but _let it go_ , we’ll find a way on our own. Renji-jii always says the team is what keeps us human and he’s been through a lot. Maybe I should talk to him about it, he’s never turned me down.

Still no progress with chakra walking.


	6. what lies in a plain sight

July 15th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

Again, Aviary. It’s not that bad once you get used to the smell, though great-grandma Enen was very _unappreciative_ of it yesterday. Honestly, how can a person be so… I have no idea how Shime-baa turned the way she is with such a snob of a mom.

So, the mission. There’s a staff shortage in the Relay Dept because new teams are constantly leaving for the border with Earth Country, at least that’s what we were said before Hiko-sensei sent us to the Aviary again. Then she left for her appointment at the hospital and as soon as sensei was out of the earshot Moriko-chan (yay, Team Four is here again!) began bragging about her cousin Inoichi-san who is already applying for tokubetsu and knows all the tasty rumors because he is the heir. According to him a band of Kiri related nukenin apparently has a hand in the series of mildly suspicious floods in the delta of Nakagawa that nearly killed a fifth of Fire Country crops this year.

Or at least someone wants people to think they have.

I’m not really sure why an almost tokubetsu would tell such sensitive information to his still genin relatives. Either I’ll never understand this noble clan thing or T&I is planting misinformation and doing it so sloppy that even eight yo me can see it. Or I don't see the full picture.

* * *

Black Grasses save me, I just can’t listen to it anymore. I'm ready to march to Yamanaka compound and beg twins’ moms to rein them in. They're way too excited about this Inoichi person and I'm afraid Yoshino will snap at them soon. Or snap them in halves. I get the feeling her trademark Nara nonchalance has no hope to survive in the team that's two thirds rumors and one - a constant sugar high.

Tanbō-kun seems like he's having a blast here though - he brought treats with him today and the birds sort of pledged loyalty to him. I feel like he's just found his future specialization. Natsuki-san, the chūnin in charge of our shift, looks at him like he is Rikudo Sennin's second coming already.

And Maru is… more silent than usual since that meeting with Sosora-sensei and I'm not sure how to approach him. There's too much going on in my head.

I talked to Renji-jii yesterday about what Sosora-sensei said and Maru's reaction. I just wanted his opinion on the situation, like, what can we do to help and grandpa said he remembers Maru's parents too. He told me he met Tōga Kasumi for the last time a couple of weeks before she had left for an undercover mission in the Land of Dusk seven years ago and here's where things get strange. Renji-jii said she and her husband had been shinobi, they used to be the students of Shime-baa at the Academy.

I don't get it. I've never met them Kasumi-san, but Maru's aunt was there two years ago at Academy Parent Day and she was decidedly nowhere close to a lady grandpa described. He said Kasumi-san had black hair, dark skin and blue eyes, but her sister was a…

Oh.

She was a natural redhead. Like Ōren-kun. Whom Maru hates with burning passion for his hair since-

That's just a coincidence, right? Right? Wait, Yoshino said Sosora-sensei works with Uchiha Military Police-

Nineteen months ago everyone was talking about an infiltrator Uchiha had caught in the village but the name was redacted from public reports to conceal the identities of _minors_. Maru's aunt died a year and a half ago and she didn't even look like his mom or him.

Shit.

This sucks and I can't even tell Tanbō-kun, it would be a breach of privacy at best. What do I do?


	7. a mark of Raijin

July 16th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

Went training today. Then another shift at the Aviary. Nothing really worth mentioning.

* * *

Renji-jii says big storm is coming. He has lightning affinity, so he can feel it way before it starts. I asked him if he has ever been inside the thunderstorm (there was a boy in the Academy - he graduated the year I was accepted - who is rumored to have  survive d a direct strike of lightning) .

Grandpa just smiled and  showed me his back.

I can't believe it's the first time I see it. His spine looks like tree roots are etched into the skin. It's terrifying.

I wonder if that's why he can't walk anymore. It just feels wrong to ask.


	8. unwanted guests

July 17th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

The storm finally came deep in the night. Everyone sleeps, but I can't.

The house is shaking with every thunder blast and the way lightning makes the room blue and full of shadows throws me off. I'm not afraid of the storm, only of what it brings.

These shadows scare me. I'm not going to fall asleep tonight, but real shadows are better than the ones I dream about. The ones in my room at least only move when lightning comes.

* * *

Hospital needs their administrative papers for the past five years archived. Team Thirteen, here we go!

* * *

I bet I smell like paper and look like a chibi librarian. Maru curses like a sailor and even Tanbō-kun seems upset with the amount of unreadable crap we have to rearrange. I love papers but this is legit bo-o-ring!

* * *

I just got home and great-grandma Enen got into a row with Shime-baa again. The whole place feels like a battleground. I guess it's about grand-uncle Yukimaru's visit.

All I know about him is that he is a policeman in Masaki-machi and that he usually smells very badly. I don't really see why we have to be happy with him coming here, it's not like we have lots of space or money to feed him and mom says he always mooches off  Shime-baa because “civilian jobs doesn't pay well”.

Shouldn't have stayed genin then.

From what I gathered, Shime-baa is really unhappy with the timing because she wanted to take a vacation while Academy is on holiday and now she will have to mother hen uncle Yukimaru. To spice it up great-grandma Enen again tells everyone willing to listen that we are a bad family and a disgrace to the clan. And neither me nor mom aren't even clan!

Eh, she's so entitled! I guess being _three times removed grand-aunt to daimyō-sama's first son's mother in law_ is an achievement to boast for ages to come.

I just wish dad would come home sooner. He always manages to make everyone behave.

* * *

Still no progress on chakra walking. Maybe I'm doing something wrong?


	9. promise

July 18th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

Dad is back! Black Grasses, I'm so excited!

He can't tell me about his mission, of course, but he brought me a scroll with family techniques! Looks like he at least made a detour to Land of Grass. I hope grandma and grandpa are okay, but I didn't ask because I'm not supposed to talk about it.

War sucks.

Dad said I can read up on the rite and if I have doton and master the initialization jutsu in a year he then will help me go through it. I can't wait for my chakra system to mature enough to develop an affinity! It's hard to believe that the tales he told me when I was little can become real one day.

Hope I get Red or maybe even Black.

Also we're going to Akimichi's tomorrow to celebrate his return!


	10. a shaky attempt

July 19th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

Just what mission dad pulled off this time? A-rank? We went to the Wing of a Butterfly! It's crazily expensive but the food was just amazing!

Turns out Tanbō-kun's dad works here. He was very nice to us and even great-grandma was charmed. We had a whole evening without sour faces and snide comments. It may become one of my happiest memories yet.

* * *

Before everyone went to sleep dad and I trained a bit. He says I'm holding back too much chakra for it to really sink into anything, that's why I can't do chakra walking. He knows I don't like heights so he got me to try sticking to the stone slab in the backyard and used Mud Wall jutsu to shake it a little. I held on for almost a minute before my feet slipped! I can do it!


	11. seven grasses

July 20th, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

I began reading dad's scroll… Even in the Land of Grass Nanagusa are not a huge shinobi clan like Inuzuka or Nara and now I know why. Not many will go through with such a rite knowing what it can do.

To let down all barriers and let the element invade my body - will I be able to? Will it accept me? Will one of seven even choose me? It seemed so beautiful while it was a legend.

> _In the times of old a woman from the Land of Grass fought in a war that was destroying her land. Her clan fell one by one by her side so she called out for help, but nobody heard her. The sword in her hands grew heavier and heavier until she could not raise it anymore and so she fell on her knees on the dying withered grass._
> 
> _She weeped and her tears watered dry soil. She bled and her blood fed the roots._
> 
> _When the enemy was ready to pierce her heart with his yari held high, a beautiful lady r_ _ose from the ground, Seven Grasses tall at her feet, and was half of her face pale as a waning Moon where its light touched her, and was the other one dark like the other side of the Moon. She slain the enemy with her right hand and wiped the woman's tears with her left._
> 
> _"Take anything you want," the woman pleaded, "take my life if it is of any use for you, but protect my land from the enemy."_
> 
> _The lady smiled at her and the Grasses at their feet curled around her body like vines, taking what she had offered them. Seven Grasses rose from their slumber and chose her as a vessel of their power._
> 
> _"Black is the grass that bends the will of the enemy, the one that heals the wounds of the body," the lady said as it nested in the woman's belly. "It honors life._
> 
> _Purple is the grass that takes roots in all things living, the one that brings pain and corrodes flesh. It honors lightning."_
> 
> _It settled around the woman's heart._
> 
> _"Blue is the grass that crushes iron and steel, the one that sings day and night. It honors air."_
> 
> _It constricted around her throat and stuck to the roof of her mouth._
> 
> _"Green is the grass that dances with the old bones, the one that moves mountains. It honors earth."_
> 
> _It wrapped around woman's feet._
> 
> _"Yellow is the grass that slips through the cracks, the one that thrums with poisons and acid. It honors water."_
> 
> _It slipped into the veins of her hands and dissolved._
> 
> _"_ _Red is the grass that grows where blood spills, the one that does not burn but holds flames at bay. It honors fire."_
> 
> _It enveloped her body and clung to her skin like an armor._
> 
> _"_ _White is the grass that fills the world with chakra and only blooms once. It honors death."_
> 
> _It curled into a tight spiral on the woman's forehead and disappeared._
> 
> _The lady then kissed woman's forehead and sunk into the ground. The woman bowed to the place where the lady stood and went to protect her land._
> 
> _Till this day their descendants roam the Elemental Countries and if the Pulse of the Earth is strong in them, Grasses will answer their call._

It frightens me now that it can become reality. My reality. What did our ancestor do to even get her hands on such a contract? What was the price she had paid? Who could that lady be?

It might be years before I can even start the summoning rite, but Konoha is at war and it needs every weapon we can give. When my time comes I will call for the Grasses no matter the cost. If they accept me, I hope I won't end up with White.


	12. bird's-eye

July 21st, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

Missives come and go and the cuts from hawk claws don't bother me anymore. It's just a set of automated movements by now - wait for the bird to settle on the 'receiving' perch, take the scroll off, offer a treat, file the scroll for decryption. Why did we even try to catch the hawks? It seems so dumb now.

Hiko-sensei is happy with our work at the Aviary. Chūnin on duty borrow Tanbō-kun to the 'outbound' station from time to time, nothing classified, of course, but he's sent a bird to Hokage Tower all by himself today! I'm really glad for him even if I don't get the allure of the job.

Great-grandpa Uben thinks it's good I work with birds so much, but honestly? I'm not a fan. Especially of the height of the tree the Aviary is built into. I guess I'm just not an air person. I'm not Ōbane anyway so who cares? The clan's gotta go on without me.


	13. kid's play

July 22nd, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

Maru is getting more and more annoyed as we continue to hang out with Team Four. He says he's almost ten and the 'kids' are getting on his nerves. Well, not anyone had to wait until ten to graduate!

Eh, he probably doesn't mean me but Moriko-chan, she really is way too loud at times, but it's just kinda the first thing that comes to mind after all these years of 'what is this toddler doing here?!' by Naki. I shouldn't question my teammate. Maybe if I talk to Guren-chan before we leave for our shift at hospital archives, she'll have a word with her sister? They're Yamanaka, yes, but not by blood. Moriko-chan really needs to tune her performance.

Either that or I'm hunting that mysterious Inoichi-san down myself. I bet even Yoshino would come out of her anabiosis to join me.


	14. oh, children

July 23rd, year 1993 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

Dad's left for another mission. Didn't even stay a week again, but at least this time he dropped by the Aviary to say goodbye. On the other hand, it usually means he's not about to be back for a month at least.

Sucks.

Sakumo-sama visited Renji-jii in the evening, brought his kid along. It's so small and eww! I don't really get all that toddlers are cute hype. Screaming at the top of its lungs isn't cute at all.

Seems like its father doesn't think so either because he was asking jiji how to get the kid accustomed to chakra. I've heard Ka-kun is less than a year old, come on! Even great-grandpa Uben didn't force dad to start training me until I was almost three and he was crazy about getting a new shinobi-to-be in the family after great-grandma didn't let him put Shime-baa and mom in the Academy.

I admit, I was eavesdropping, but who won't be? It's not every day Renji-jii gets a visitor, especially the head of the Clan with an actual place in the Shinobi Council. Sakumo-sama used to be in jiji's class at the Academy though, so it's not that strange. His students sometimes come over, they're much better at that than jiji's old teammates. Only, usually they visit when they need something. Turns out Sakumo-sama did too.

I've heard about chakra deficiency and underdeveloped tenketsu, but allergies to specific types of chakra? No wonder Ka-kun was wailing the whole time he was at our place, we have seals for great-grandpa placed literally everywhere.

First Suna killed his aunt, then his mom disappeared, now this… Poor kid.


	15. bad blood

_December 6th, year 1996 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

~~Dad~~  Father has left.

Mom can't stop crying and still she tries to hide it from me. Shime-baa thinks it will break me even more than mom and she forgets I am a chūnin already, I've heard the rumors. And I know he's not coming back.

He caught me at the Mission Assignment Desk yesterday just after we've completed the last delivery. He offered me to go with him.

How can he?! Konoha is our home no matter who Hokage is! If he wants to run like a coward because he thinks Third is no good then to hell with him! I won't leave mom or Renji-jii and Shime-baa. I won't betray my village, not now when Tsuchikage's forces are so close to the capital and Uzu - our only ally in this war - has fallen.

 

I've always dreamed to become a great shinobi just like father and now Hokage is going to declare him a nukenin.

I hate him.


	16. the price we pay for father's sins

_December 24, year 1996 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

Konoha shinobi finally pushed Iwa forces back to the border and mom immediately applied for a teaching position in Kawara Port. She is getting desperate, staying here does her no good. Her papers got declined of course - Nanagusa Chian is a wife of a deserter and people are staring.

She is a civilian and while civilians pretend to never give a damn about us shinobi, when one of our kind goes nuts after seeing too much, doing unspeakable things or defects like my father did, they swarm in like crows to feast on our sorrow. I don't blame mom for wanting to get away.

I have it much easier - I can travel the village through the roofs and the only people I actually talk to except for my family and Mission Desk chūnin are my teammates. Maru says we’re not responsible for our parents’ sins and Tanbo-kun even shared his dango with me today. I’m lucky to have them.

Great-grandpa Uben wants mom to give up her job and stay at home since she can’t protect herself. He and Renji-jii argue a lot because Renji-jii says it'll pass and I want to believe him, I really do. 

* * *

Tanbo-kun just stopped by with a scroll so I have to go. Another night, another mission for Team Thirteen.


	17. salt

_June 18th, year 1997 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

I found a grey hair when I cut my bangs today. I’m twelve and it’s the first one.

Father used to say his ma’s head was silver by the time she turned twenty. I wonder how she looks like... It’s a shame we’ve always been on the opposing sides of war.

When father fled, there was more salt than pepper in his hair but he only was thirty one. How long will it take me to turn grey?


	18. second start

_June 19th, year 1997 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

Mom has been offered a job in the Capital. She's been in high demand before father ran away and now people finally begin to trust her again despite the fact that she's still wearing his name.

Shime-baa thinks moving is a bullshit idea, but she's always been way too hard on mom. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow before the mission and Renji-jii will back me up. He may be the one to try for neutrality when Shime-baa rages on, but he knows a restless mind better than anyone else. Staying won't make mom happy. She has to move on and live outside of this old house filled with scorn and shouting.

I hope she accepts the position, it will give her something to concentrate on and Daimyō will gain a lot from her service. She's a good teacher and even greater lawyer. She deserves happiness, not being trapped in Konoha where everyone calls her by the name of the traitor.

I will carry this burden so she doesn't have to, I at least already look like him.


	19. i know that i know nothing

_April 13th, year 1998 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

What is it that makes people think I’m the one who will solve all their problems? For fuck’s sake, I’m thirteen! How the hell am I supposed to know anything about marriage, Masako? Minami, I _hate_ children, why do you ask _me_ about your brother’s speech development?

Sweet gods, if I find the fucker who planted the idea of know-it-all-Teri into my coworkers’ heads, I will get out of my way and actually whip some asses.


	20. slipping away

_November 9th, year 1999 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

Great-grandpa forgot Shime-baa again. I had to hold him back until she shut all the doors and he still tried to get out to fight. He calls me by mom's name. I'm not sure he knows I even exist.

Chakra restriction seal weakens, Renji-jiichan says, but we can't buy a new one and the hospital staff say they can't do anything. The war is the only thing everybody cares about. I hate war. I hate this village for not caring about great-grandpa when he'd given them all, even his sanity.

I've heard Awayuki-chan knows an Uzumaki. Maybe I can find something to trade for a copy of the chakra restriction seal before great-grandpa gets even worse.

I think he may not recover this time.


	21. and a Teri on top

_March 9th, year 2001 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

Taichō told me today it's time for me to start working on my seduction skills. Seems like _that_ mission is coming up sooner that I thought. Who do you want me to whore up, Inoichi-taichō?

I was tempted to ask, but everyone is on edge now and there's no time for idle chitchat. The war is simmering and who knows when damn Iwa is going to blow up something important enough for Konoha to take action? No one even tries to predict what old fucker Ōnoki can do these days…

Taichō didn't say if my mission will take me away from the village so I suppose it will be an inside job. Konoha won't let me out that easily, not after father's defection. It’s been five years and main gate guards still give me the stink eye so Awayuki-chan double-checked the roster just a week ago. Surprise! My name is still flagged as 'flight risk’.

Well, I'm not really interested in venturing outside the wall anyway. Too much effort - I’d rather bury myself in the Archives and write situational analysis reports till I’m old and grey, but what do I get instead? Damned seduction mission with a cherry on top.

All things considered, I think I should count myself lucky. At least taichō gave me time to prepare before I have to go spread my legs to gather intel like a good kunoichi of Konoha.

Really, I've just updated my qualifications in Ame and Suna cyphers and three days later my boss says I’m going to receive “kunoichi all time classics” mission and basically sends me to Flower District to learn tea ceremony rather than to  _akasen_ for a crash course in Succubi Business 101? Who do you want me to woo, Inoichi-taichō, a nobleman? But geisha spend _years_ in training and I doubt I’ll be able to pass for one of them anyway! Even with all the talk about ethics, manners and behavior worthy of a young woman I highly doubt Iwa or Kumo ~~spies~~ dignitaries (men or women, not that I really care) will fall for my ploys. Yet.

The other concern is always security - the Council won’t let someone like me near a foreigner in any capacity beyond an analyst hidden behind one-way glass in the interrogation room. Sixteen, daughter of a traitor… No,  I bet I'll be after our own shinobi. Only a fool would believe other villages don't have active spies or at least sleepers in Konoha. The very same Iwa or Kumo totally do. I've had at least two classmates who could pass for Ame nationals just fine.

What if it's someone I know though? From Academy or worse, T&I? I don't fancy the idea of sleeping with anyone at all thank you very much, the very thought of having a penis (gods, it's repulsive to even write about it) near me fills me with dread. Men are ugh. Women are not so much, but it's not like I have a choice in the matter.

Eh, I hope it's going to be someone completely unfamiliar and, please-please-please let it be a simple one time hookup! That is the only thing that really bothers me right now. Shime-baa once said sometimes the Council might issue orders for a long-term infiltration mission that can last for decades. Like, _infiltration: family style._ It sounds horrible even to me and I am a resident morbid humor specialist in the Division.

I wonder how does grandma know anything like this though... People are usually pretty tight lipped about kunoichi stuff and she's a household management teacher, in Shinobi Academy, but still just a retired teacher.

Anyway, even if it comes to _that_ type of assignment, well... ~~If~~ When I'm given the mission, failure is not an option. T&I is the only place that can give me a stable income, let me spend most of my time combing through the Archives and ██████iles. Damn, I need to buy a new pen now, ink just bled all over the place.


	22. history on repeat

July 30th, year 2001 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

Another genin team is lost. Uchiha used a self destruction jutsu and Hatsurai's dead. Kanasabi seems to be the only survivor. Again.

She was brought back by ANBU, both covered in blood, I’m not even sure whose. Taichō had to poke into her head and what he's seen… He is rarely disturbed, we’ve witnessed so much in these past years and still. I had to call in a medic.

* * *

It's been a long time since I've visited my teammates from before T&I and this is absolutely not how I imagined a reunion. Tanbō-kun is shaken.

Maru, what you've gotten into?

* * *

I don't need any more nightmares than there already are for me. I hope these pills will knock me out good.


	23. plus one

_May 23rd, year 2005 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

Aviary is still shut down, reports are rolling in faster than standby chūnin can process the information. Runners with corpse scrolls are coming from northwest.

Iwa wiped out our outpost near Kamon-machi with some damn tricky explosives, fifty dead, thirty six including twelve civilians injured. Since the samples of the mine matter had been delivered fifty six hours ago R&D is like a beehive in levels of both activity and noise. Thankfully, they keep Ōren in 24/7, I'm not sure I'd be able to deal with him right now though I feel like shit for being thankful. People died.

Do I still have what they call a soul then?

The queen of bees, a lovely and absolutely terrifying on the best of days Nara Shihou claims the explosives are produced by “human means” whatever that, uh, means. My head's not really in the right place at the moment.

Anyway, the lady is sure some bloodline is involved, so all members of Analysis Team are currently being graciously donated to R&D, me included. Nara Tateito-san, a pre-village kekkei genkai historian I am assigned to work with, stares right through me and hears nothing but the voices in his head. I'm not a medic, but I'd dare to say he's not completely right in the head. Good with those ancient family tree scrolls though.

* * *

I've been stuck in this hidey hole for fifteen hours, got more paper cuts today than during all previous twenty one year of my life and my lungs must be coated with a layer of paper dust by now. Shiho-sama is raging in the labs because their data don't match anything we come up with, but Tateito-san hasn't even so much as flinched once at her bellowing. Damn, this lady is louder than Shime-baa when she'd mad. I have to get back to sorting the scrolls.

* * *

Tateito-san has a quite unnerving stare. Reminds me of mom when she figures out her trickiest cases. What does he mean by "How Shime-chan is doing?" The man only looked up at me once, he doesn't even know my name!

* * *

Crap. Fuck, this just can't be real.

* * *

Well, hello, grandfather.


	24. runaway brides

_June 1st, year 2005 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

It’s always so fucking easy to be wise when people come to you for advice. The shitty part begins when you find yourself in a situation where it’s you who have to follow those words of wisdom. Mostly because it turns out they worth nothing.

I don’t know how it came to this and I feel so damn tired of playing games. Taichō will understand, I know. They can find someone better suited for this job.

Mom has been right all along. I’m just like my father. I always run away.

 

To hell with this, I’m cancelling the wedding. I _will_ be free.


	25. i'm going to fuck you up

_September 28th, year 2005 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

The very thought of a seminar on Kumo torture tactics for new negotiators-to-be was cursed from the very beginning.

This new guy from Diplomatic Corps is awful! He just plain came up to my desk and said I should ask Akebi out instead of 'staring at her longingly with a hint of something improper’! In front of her! Whole department kept chuckling like madmen until my shift ended. I bet Akebi is going to ignore me into the next month now.

I'm declaring hate at the first sight and Kuroyama Dōjin is officially fucked up. I don't care he's Homura's aide, the moron has no idea what proper manners are and he will pay dearly.

Should I sell him out to Awayuki-chhi or mess with him myself?


	26. a dog without leash

_October 14th, year 2006 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths_

Hatake looks like shit. I know he needs help and I _want_ to help him, but who the hell I am to play with man’s brains? Taichō should’ve done it himself or send one of his clan at least. I'm an analyst, not a certified psychologist for fuck's sake!

At least he seems to give up the idea of going out with a bang. Thank gods for small miracles.


	27. i spy with my shadow eye

January 18th, year 2019 since the birth of the Sage of Six Paths

Kakashi brought his genin in. Finally. One more day of camping out in the Section To and looking abyss in the eye and I'd probably fry my brains inside and out. Thank Grasses for small miracles.

It takes too much of me lately.

While I am grateful to Tateito-san for teaching this technique to me, what was he thinking? If Nara find out I can do _Kagesaguri-no jutsu_ Inoichi-taichō would probably cover me up with Shikaku-san and still. My mom was a Nara for how long, eighteen years? And no one even remembered it after she married father. Both of us could live without this legacy.

And, by the way, Awayuki ruined my book. Again. I swear, one of this days she will find herself on the receiving end of the prank even if I would have to recruit Iruka-kun.

* * *

Black Grasses almighty, Team Seven is really cursed. How in the world they managed to stumble onto a MONKEY WHISTLE? These things are forbidden for how long? Ten years? Thirteen?

I could live without the image of Uzumaki's hand burning down to the bone as well.

* * *

I'm going to talk to Kakashi. What taichō doesn't know can't hurt him and when the time is right, I will show him. He is a smart man, he will understand - Tsunade-sama's _requests_ take precedence, just like Jiraiya's do for him.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the LLF Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:  
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